“I can't! I really can't do it. I wish I had just never gone! I wish I'd stayed like Devin and Frederick. I don't know why I left.” He collapsed, sliding down the concrete wall of the house until he sat resting against it on the cool wood of the deck. “I don't know what to do to make things go back to normal.” His eyes were wide as he looked up to her. The wind picked up and his eyes began to water in the stark breeze and felt foreign in his skull, like cold ball bearings stuck in place.

She sighed. “I came out here because I thought maybe I could help. I don't know. I hope I have. But I'm gonna go, Jesse.” She looked down at him with a deadening frown and reached for her longboard. She stubbed out the cigarette against the railing and said, “I wish you'd be honest with yourself. I know you left because of me. It's okay. I don't care anymore. But you picked UW for the distance, not the degree, Jesse.”

The door opened and Frederick stepped outside. “Hey, Jesse, Rick's here looking for you.” He reached down and helped Jesse up. “Sorry things got so hectic. Next time we hang I promise to be a better host, alright?” He looked at Adrienne and asked, “You ready?” The two re-entered the house.

Light flakes of snow began to drift in and out of Jesse's vision, collecting on the deck and on his sleeves. Jesse stood staring out across the dark cityscape. Far out, past the twinkling spots of light, he could see a flat expanse of no lights and no silhouettes in the night. Lake Coeur d'Alene. So, so far away. A dream probably unattainable by skateboard. They had gone anyway.

The screen door opened and Rick stepped onto the deck. “Your friends seem nice,” Rick said. He leaned against the railing beside Jesse. “I'm only sorry I had to introduce myself in this context.”

Jesse stood still, staring out into the night.

“Come on, Jesse,” Rick said. Jesse felt his sturdy hand on his shoulder.

“I'll go back to college,” Jesse said. “But not in Washington. I'll go to the community college here in town. And I'm not doing any Bio-related major.”

The hand squeezed his shoulder. “I'm glad to hear it, Jesse.” Rick righted himself from the railing. “We can talk about it later.”

Jesse thought about the card in his duffel bag. He looked up at Rick, “Can we stop somewhere, first? I need to buy a birthday card.”

Rick smiled. They headed to the car.