As Cameron walked, the streetlights behind him cast fragmented versions of himself down the alley ahead. Each light that passed above rotated the figures about him. They grew tall then short, and definite then blurred. They spun slowly and without spirit, more akin to the mechanical hands of a clock than partners in a dance. He watched them and kept a steady pace. He was the sundial at dusk. The streetlights were distant stars above telling his time. He chased his shadows slowly down the lane.
His thoughts retreated to his conversation with Faye earlier that week. He still couldn't believe how suddenly she had made up her mind.
“I'm leaving tomorrow,” she'd said between drags on her vape. “I've talked to my aunt and she's willing to take me back in for a while.”
They had crossed the street so that no one could complain about her smoking on campus, although no one was out that late anyway. He'd wanted to sit right there beside her under the streetlight, but suddenly the light was sterile, and he'd felt very distant. Instead, he had sat on the curb, his back to her. His shadow stretched far away from him and blended into darkness down the street.
“Oh,” is all he'd managed to say for a while before chasing it with a half-hearted, “I didn't expect that.” He refused to let on that her decision was bad. He hadn't known whether it was a bad decision, actually, and he still wasn't sure. He just knew he wanted her to stay.
“Cameron, it's not forever. Just a semester, maybe two. But I'm hoping just the one is enough of a break. And it's not like we won't stay in touch.”
He had sat there pressing fingers through damp leaves.
“Are you thinking about Emily?” She'd asked this and waited, and he'd wanted to respond, but his shadow had become embossed in the pavement and he'd been frozen in place. He couldn't move. He couldn't speak.
“Cameron, if you aren't happy, there doesn't have to be a reason why. Sometimes you just don't love someone and that's all there is to it. But—and I mean it, Cameron—you don't want to stay in a relationship you feel trapped in.” He'd felt her hand gently squeeze his shoulder. He didn't want her to leave.